What Am I Worth?

I have a funny little thingamajiggy (technical term) on my myspace page. It is a little sign that says I am worth $2.44 million dollars. I took a quiz about my education level, health, and habits and it put a price tag on me. I am still looking for a buyer if you are interested…

I was reminded of this quiz as I was reading Matthew 13:44-46 again. I love these verses because they tell me that I (and you) are worth much more than $2.44 million. For many years I didn’t understand what the verses were saying because I thought they both said the same thing. Then one day I actually READ them and realized they did NOT say the same thing.

Most of us are famiiar with verse 44, “The kingdom of heaven is like a treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy he went and sold all he had and bought that field.” This is easy enough to understand, right? Heaven is so valuable that we should give everything to be there. We should “sell out” for God! We have heard this preached all our lives.

What is interesting are the next two verses, “Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant looking for fine pearls. When he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had and bought it.” Did you catch the subtle shift? The subject changed. In the first one, we find God and give everything to gain HIM. In the second, God finds us and gives everything to be with us. This blows my mind. I (and you) am the “pearl of great price.”

Now, I understand that nothing good dwells in me and that I have nothing to offer HIM. But HE is so crazy about me (and you) that HE sold everything and gave HIS own life to be with us. I will never understand why since I know I am unworthy but I have learned over the years that the best thing to do when someone loves you is to accept it greatfully instead of asking why. I learned this after many years of driving my wife crazy trying to figure out why she loved me. I finally quit asking and said, ‘thank you.’ I know I married “up.” I know I don’t deserve her. But I have learned to be thankful she loves me. The same with God. I know I don’t deserve HIS love, but I am sure glad HE thinks I am worth more than $2.44 million. He thinks I am worth giving HIS own life.

Who You Callin’ A Sinner???

We rarely notice but Jesus was a very sarcastic guy. One of the most sarcastic statements He ever made was directed to the religious leaders of the day. They had just asked His disciples why He hung out with “tax collectors and ’sinners.’” Jesus answered, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick… for I have not come to call the righteous but sinners” (Mt. 9:11-13). Obviously, Jesus did not consider the Pharasees to be healthy. What He was really saying was, “Those who think they are healthy and have it all together don’t realize they need a doctor, only those who know they are sick know they need help… I did not come to call those who think they are righteous and holier thasn thou but those who know they are sinners in need of a savior.” (You will have to excuse the spirit of Eugene Peterson [author of the Message] that has come over me).

Ok, so what is my point? I guess it is that as I read these words, my heart cries out to be called by the doctor (to mix the metaphors). I want to be with Him and the only way I see to do that is to admit that nothing good lives in me. I know that I am forgiven and that I am the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus. But I also know I am nothing more than a sick sinner without Him. The minute I forget that, I become a self righteous person denying my sickness as puss oozes from my wounds. I just cover them up so others can’t see them. The problem is that when I do this, everyone around my knows I am sick.

I want to embrace my sickness and let it drive me to the doctor. I know what resides in my heart. It needs to be surgically removed. I am desperate for the doctor to heal me and keep me healthy. I know that my works are as filthy rags and I can do nothing on my own. I must remain in Him. I must dwell in Him. I must remain desparate for His presence in my life. The minute I settle for my self righteous religiousness, I rot from the inside out.

Keep Plowing

Last week I had the privelige of being invited to speak at a spiritual retreat at a school for troubled teens in the Dominican Republic. There are about 40 high school students there who have been sent by their parents to go through a Bible based, boot camp type school to deal with a wide variety of issues. For a week, they suspended classes and I was the speaker every morning and evening.

Most of these students are very much hardened to the world and to the Lord. It was a challenge to say the least. I was astonished when the two oldest boys, who had been in the program for years and were the leading “atheists” on campus each went to counselors after the service the first night and said, “I am tired of fighting God. It is too hard to not believe.” The next night one of them got up and read an essay he had written about stepping out to trust God. It sent shock waves through the students. By the end of the week, a third to half of the students had given their lives to the Lord. I ended up spending four days doing back to back counseling with students. There was no hype, it was just an awesome, spontaneous move of God!

One day I got to speak to just the staff. I stressed to them that, by no means was I under the illusion that what was going on had anything to do with me. I was just some guy passing through and getting to do some harvesting. None of it would have been possible if they had not been there day after day, month after month, year after year planting and watering the seeds of God’s word and love. Some of these people had gone round and round with these young men for up to four years, then suddenly, everything broke loose. I would describe myself as a migrant farm working coming through for the harvest season. The teachers, counselors, and house parents are the farmers. They have loved, prayed, and shed tears over the students. They have sacrificed by living in the Dominican Republic (a beautiful place but without the comforts of home like reliable electricity and water). They are the true heroes!

The problem is that there aren’t too many of us who want to be the planter or the waterers. It is great fun to be the harvester. It was an incredible experience. But it isn’t always so much fun being the one to love on kids who reject you and your Lord. I run a youth center and after school program that doesn’t always seem to be bearing fruit. But I am called to plow up the ground. I may never be the harvester in these kids’ lives. I may never even get to see the harvest. Am I still willing to plow and plant and water? Many times I get frustrated and want to quit. But there is no harvest without the guys doing the dirty work all year long. So keep plowing and thank God for the times you get to swoop in and harvest where someone else has been faithful to prepare the ground for you!